"Mayor Orange" or "Why is Adam posting random nonsensical stories on his blog that he never updates?"

"Mayor Orange" by Adam C. Stott

On the top of a hill, there lived a small village of sentient food products. The mayor of this village was Orange who had appealed to the voters. He was married to Apple, a stay-at-home wife/computer technician. They had three kids: Grape, Nectarine and Pomegranate.

One day, the fruits were all out on a lovely picnic. They opened up their picnic basket and pulled out some Goldfish. Which, despite looking like fish, were not real food and therefore not sentient. They ate the Goldfish without any hint of irony.

Upon completion of their lunch, they went for a stroll. In the park, they met Hamburger and Egg, who had just given birth to baby Bologna. Egg and Apple watched the baby while Hamburger and Orange took the three kids to the zoo.

At the zoo, Grape dangled too far over the pit that housed the alligators and fell in. Luckily, alligators are carnivorous and left Grape alone until the authorities could rescue her. Her brother, however, got too close to the monkey house and was gobbled up by an orangutan.

Orange was heartbroken and, unable to live with the guilt, jumped into the monkey house to fight the orangutan. However, lacking fists or feet or any other fighting implement, Orange was hastily dispatched by an adventurous gibbon. The end.

(I wrote this story in the middle of the night during a fit of insomnia/general illness. it's.... interesting, so I figured I would post it here as well as Facebook where people will actually see it.)

Some of My Favorite Authors

A blogpost about writing? What are you doing Adam? Have you gone mad?

Actually, I just wanted to write this down. If I had made a similar list in 2012, I probably would have been interested in seeing how some of these authors have grown or seen who made the new list.

Anyway, in no particular order, here are some of my favorite authors.

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John Green

Let me start off by saying, I found the movie adaptation of Our Fault in the Stars to be underwhelming. It wasn't bad, I'd give it an 8 out of 10, but it doesn't do the novel justice. Check it out though if you haven't. Also, Paper Towns. Probably. I haven't seen that one.

John Green is one of those interesting cases (excluding one-shot authors) where I can say I've read every single one of his novels. I have not yet picked up Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances, but I have read Will Grayson, Will Grayson and Green's four stand-alone novels. I enjoyed all five of these books. My favorite is Looking for Alaska about a teenager who is shipped off to school and meets a very interesting girl who shakes up his whole life. There is very little else I want to say so as not to spoil the book, but it's worth a read.

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Scott Westerfeld

Scott Westerfeld is another author of young adult novels, but he fits much better into my preferred genres of reading. Westerfeld's novels, of the ones that I have read, take place in the realms of fantasy. The Uglies series takes place in a dystopia where most of the population is forcibly altered on their sixteenth birthday to become intensely beautiful, but air-headed, "pretties." The Leviathan series takes place in an else-world setting of WW1 where the British control genetically-created, sentient weaponry and the Central Powers fight with mechs and war-machines.

The only other novel of his that I have read is called Afterworlds. The novel contains two stories that go back and forth each chapter. One is the story of a young woman who, after somehow surviving a terrorist attack at an airport, is called upon to become a grim reaper. The other half of the story reveals that the first section is the debut story of a teenage girl who is moving to New York City to become a writer full-time. It has quickly become one of my new favorite novels; I love the way the story weaves back and forth between the two worlds.

These novels all feature strong, female protagonists, fantastic elements, and a recurring theme of courage and bravery. If you're looking for a YA fantasy fix, I highly recommend Uglies and Leviathan.

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Gregory Maguire

This man, who outmaneuvers John Green and Stephen King for my favorite writer of all time, is the author of several novels that recreate and look deeper into the classical tales that you may remember fondly. The most famous of these stories is Wicked. Wicked is an origin story for the Wicked Witch of the West from L. Frank Baum's Wizard of Oz series. She was not born a villain, and her story takes her from birth to her college years and finally to the climatic scene of Dorothy Gale's epic adventure. Of course, the story isn't over as Maguire wrote three additional books set in the Land of Oz.

Other stories include Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, Mirror Mirror, and After Alice which give an interesting look into Cinderella, Snow White, and Alice in Wonderland. Gregory Maguire has also written a number of books for younger audiences, including a favorite of mine What the Dickens: The Story of a Rouge Tooth Fairy.

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That's it for now. Maybe I'll do another one of these... before I turn 30.

Did You Know I Had a Blog Page?

Nope. I didn't know that.

On a related note, most of the blogs that I used to subscribe to (or at least read regularly) have stopped updating. But they still exist. In CYBERSPACE. Anyway, there is absolutely no point in writing this blog post. But I haven't submitted anything in three years.

So ...... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 looks amazing.

I haven't seen the first movie, but the trailer came out a day or two ago. The turtles are slightly less freaky-looking, there is barely any Megan Fox in the trailers, and (most importantly) they have Bebop and Rocksteady!

I'm not a huge turtles fan, which is the main reason I didn't feel obligated to see another of Michael Bay's explosion-filled, comedy-deprived, soulless action movies when it was clearly just trying to pull at the heartstrings of my inner child. However, I watched the crap out of the 90's show. I watched the first two live-action movies that came out around that time. And I remember watching them and asking myself, where are Bebop and Rocksteady.

Well, they're here. They look great as human characters, they look great transformed, and Rocksteady (played by WWE Superstar Sheamus, +1 to you Mr. Bay) looks great driving a tank and blasting the turtles as they surf down the river.

So yeah, check out the trailer.